Once upon a time there was no Instagram, Tinder, Facebook, Match.com, Vine, and no sexting, texting, or even e-mail. If a young buck wanted to meet a nice lady, he’d take a deep breath, walk across the bar room, smile and say something clever like, “Hey, my name's Steve.” If he was fortunate enough that she didn’t blow cigarette smoke his way, it was on him to keep the conversation going in the hopes of making a connection.
This requires a real conversation, one that transcends discussing recent episodes of “The Walking Dead” or fantasy football. Before we were drowning in technology, people were forced to connect face-to-face, person-to-person.
They are visual, they fantasize, they talk about sex, and although they may not stray; they’re mentally sexed up. Part of the reason is that I know my wife is loyal and I don’t think my having sex with other women would be fair to her. She knows that I am a horn dog, but one who is on a leash.
Most of the others guys I know in the horn dog camp think and behave this way, also. Here is one more thing to factor in about the horn dog camp.
I know so many guys who either married too young, grew apart from their spouses, or decided wanted to trade in their partner for a younger, hotter model. And it’s not necessarily your fault or that of your spouse. And it’s no joke, so make damn sure you’re aware of what you’re signing up for before you take that leap. Do your best to peek into your shared future and visualize the kind of life that awaits the two of you. If you like what you see, proceed to the next question. Will I be content not shagging other women for the rest of my life? Another underrated, but important thing to consider. It’s more about how you both see humanity, and your role in making this world a better place.
Life gets complicated, so unless you are a true risk taker, I suggest you do your homework and then think long and hard before getting married. Getting married to the right woman can be the best thing that ever happens to a guy. And when you find that special woman, you’ll breeze through my list of ten questions guys needs to ask themselves before getting married. Marriage means you are entering a partnership built on a bond built on love, trust and respect. Where do you want to live, work, play, vacation, travel, settle down and buy a home, and spend your sunset days together? This is usually an unspoken area, but in many ways for a guy, it becomes issue. If she’s going to invest her body, mind, and spirit in commune with you for what could be her entire life, she deserves to know what she’s getting into. Get the details about children out in the open before walking to the altar. You may not instantly forget shit they may have done, but it means that you don’t allow your partner’s behavior or your anger eat you up from the inside. By values, I’m referring to what you value you as people. Do you both care about this, or is she the only one who cares about clean water, feeding the poor, education, and health care.
If your underlying hesitation remains, you might want to reconsider your options. Maybe, and this is a long shot, you both will be cool with an open marriage. Unless you are a douche, once you tie the knot, your prowling nights are over. And ask her what she expects from you along the way. So if you want three kids and she wants none, or she wants to work and you want her to raise the kids, these issues could become a sore point as the years go by. And here I am now, a doting father of a four year old. So if you really can’t stand being around them, think twice before moving forward. If you can’t make your future wife laugh, you are in trouble. This becomes important when you fight (which you will) and how you make up (which you will also do). There is nothing wrong with a little pride when it’s for the greater good. They fight, they avoid one another, and yet they still make wonderful music when they come together. Can you imagine a Trump loyalist married to a Bernie supporter? If not, you could be in deep shit, and it could happen quickly.
Yeah, you can always look at the menu, but ultimately the big dogs like to eat. It’s only fair that you are transparent and that you feel comfortable with her needs. Hey, you might find out that they don’t like you either. I highly recommend finding a partner that laughs easily at your shenanigans. Nowadays, many couples have separate bank accounts. What do you have to offer her that would inspire her to spend the rest of her life listening to you snore and watching the Jets lose?
Most guests on my Guy's Guy Radio podcast take a politically correct stance, insisting that all things are equal when it comes to how men and women view sex.Take it from one who waited before finally hitting the jackpot. When it feels right inside and the stars are aligned, the answers come quick and they’re affirming. I strongly suggest that you look inside and ask yourself if getting married like the right decision. And if you are a horn dog like me, you’ll want a woman in total synch with your boning stylings. If you think she’s the one for you, make sure you don’t hold back any creepy secrets that would give her pause. I was single for so long that I didn’t think I would ever become a father, and I was okay with it. You might not think that this matters, but it does. She no longer rocks a black bikini the way she used to, and maybe she’s put on a few pounds. The point is, marriage is a like long dance when it comes to managing emotions. What if she prefers country life and you dig the big city? To solve a mystery, they often say, “follow the money”.